Shipping Info.
We ship within 2 business days unless otherwise specified. Here’s everything else you need to know.
Shipping Rates & Methods
| Method | Estimated Delivery | Processing Time | Cost |
|---|---|---|---|
| Standard Shipping | 5–7 Business Days | 1–2 Business Days | FREE over $25 |
| Standard Shipping | 5–7 Business Days | 1–2 Business Days | $5.99 (under $25) |
| Expedited Shipping | 2–3 Business Days | 1–2 Business Days | $12.99 |
| Priority / Overnight | 1–2 Business Days | Same Day (order by 12pm ET) | $24.99 |
What Actually Happens
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1
You Order
Checkout complete. Confirmation email hits your inbox immediately.
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2
We Pack It
Your order is packed within 2 business days. No longer.
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3
It Ships With Tracking
Tracking number sent to your email the moment it leaves the building.
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4
It Arrives. You Win.
Your Booty Wipes show up. Your toilet paper era is officially over.
Read This First
Processing time (1–2 days) is separate from delivery time. The clock starts after it ships.
Orders placed on weekends or federal holidays start processing the next business day. Plan accordingly.
We ship to where you tell us. If you gave us the wrong address, that's a you problem. We'll try to help but no guarantees.
Domestic shipping only. International is coming. The rest of the world deserves better than dry paper too.
Order Changes & Cancellations
- You have 2 hours after placing an order to change or cancel. Email crap@bootywipes.com immediately.
- Once it's in processing or shipped, we can't stop it. The wipes are already on their way to change your life.
- Wrong item or damaged on arrival? Contact us within 7 days of delivery. We make it right, no questions asked.
- Address update needed? Email us fast. If it hasn't shipped yet, we'll fix it. After that, no promises.
Tracking Your Order
- Tracking email goes out the moment your package ships. Check spam first before emailing us — it's almost always there.
- Click the link in that email. Watch the dot move. It's genuinely satisfying.
- Tracking updates can take up to 24 hours to appear. Carriers scan when they feel like it, apparently.
- Shows "delivered" but it's not there? Wait 24 hours, check everywhere, then email us with your order number.
Lost or Damaged
- Package arrived damaged? Take photos immediately and contact us within 7 days. We'll replace or refund — no argument.
- Package lost in transit (no updates for 5+ business days)? Email us. We file the carrier claim. You don't have to deal with that.
- Before reporting anything missing: check with neighbors, your mailroom, behind your door. Carriers get creative with hiding spots.
Questions about your order?
Real humans. 1–2 business day response. No bots. No scripts.